Shades of Scarlett Deep in Thought

There isn't much to write about today. All is ok I think, maybe, maybe not... I did drive home from Illinois and had to then check up on things at my Red Cross chapter. After I finished up there, I made my tired self climb back in my car and drive the 30 minutes or so to my parents house. Well they aren't there right now so it's up to me to keep the house in order and care for the garden which is flourishing. I got about half of it done. My 17 year old brother is actually doing better than I thought about keeping up with the house.

I now have an entire counter covered with garden tomatoes. Some of them have slits in the sides where they grew to be too big for their skins and so I will have to cut out bad spots prior to canning or freezing them. C'est la vie...no worries eh? Lots of squash and some zucchini and tomorrow probably a bushel of green beans to pick with also probably the same for okra. Purple hull peas still not in.

However, when the peas do come in, I will pick them, sit on my porch swing at mama's, sip lemonade, shell peas, and count the cars that pass by! This is truly a one of a kind activity that only southerners always do. Well ok so other people do it too but still... :lol:

Please all of you remember our dear Shark99. Things are still a bit rough lately and he's taking it really hard. My love for him is no longer all he needs. As he mentioned in his blog, he has to find himself so I ask that maybe you could leave a kind note on his blog. You will note that he is on the top of my links. Thanks in advance...it means a lot that all of you truly do care so much for us.

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I thought the movie was really good. It did go more in depth to the problems incurred on the person being Spiderman. However, these issues are going to occur with any superhero. He and Mary Jane eventually made up partly because she found out he was Spiderman and then realized oh hey I do love him and vice versa so anyway. A bit cheesy as John would say but still I enjoyed it. However, it has been left open for #3.

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For those of you who haven't seen [i]King Arthur[/i] yet, I won't spoil the movie but this movie delves into a different legend of the traditional King Arthur story surrounded by betrayal. I found it to be intriguing to say the least and now I ponder which legend is true.

And we ladies think that we have bad hair days? Wouldn't wanna be this poor monkey!



Ever wanna know what's wrong with your computer? Well, just make sure there are no evil penguins around!

I found these pics and lots more to be a hoot!

So I now have been reinforced in my theory that I truly am dating the most romantic person in the whole world or perhaps the universe. We are still in Chicago for the weekend and last night, John's sister suggested we both go out walking around the city.

So John took me around the city and since the Hancock building was too full, he took me to the famous Lake Michigan beach in Chicago. It was spectacularly beautiful. I took my sandals off and ran along the beach. It was so carefree and exhilarating to run along the beach and into the shallow part of the water. Feeling the wind blowing against your face and hearing the sounds coming from the waves of the ocean was awe inspiring. I couldn't get John to come near the water but he watched me and it was romantic when he took a walk along the beach with me!

The greatest thing is I always imagined as a little girl the love of my life taking me on a quite walk by the beach at night. And he did, without even knowing that was a dream of mine!

I guess in everyone's life, you come across someone who is judgemental of who you are. Because they don't know or understand you, you are uncivilized or not good enough. You aren't where they are in life so you are wrong. Mmmm...

It's an interesting thought really. What would it be like to walk around judging everyone? What would it be like to walk around always in your own little world, refusing to accept what's different from you? I dunno know because I don't do that.

I hope that if I ever acted that way, someone would tell me. I certainly would want to know if I appeared that way. I try to understand other people and though it's not always easy, I hope that in some way I can at least find that common ground that makes it easier to get along.

What experience have any of you had where someone was truly evaluating your every move and no matter what you did, it simply wasn't right?

I will try to post something better later but no promises.

I am here in Illinois with John and will go home Monday morning. While in town with him, I am helping him organize his office and whatever else he needs help with in the office. I have been wondering what to post about today that would be meaningful and still I don't know but maybe this will do.

We in this country are so fortunate with what we have as far as possessions and opportunities are concerned. We are so blessed that sometimes we take it for granted. Simple things like just being able to go see a movie- did you know that in Europe the movies here aren't shown until months later there? I didn't know that until my sister lived there for a short period of time.

Volunteering with the Red Cross has made me realize that we really should give back to our community and the world where we are capable of doing so. I admire all of you out there who donate blood, sponsor children from 3rd world countries, or work with other organizations such as the American Red Cross. Thank you for what you do! I challenge each of you to make the step and give back. Even if it is buying Girl Scouts cookies or donating clothes to an organization to help families whose homes have been burned down in a fire. There are so many opportunities open for volunteers. It doesn't take much of your time and you will really gain from this as well!

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Am I recognizable in that picture? Just askin... anyway, on the wonderful campus of the University of TN at Martin, we have a long standing tradition of the sacred meeting of the Superfans. It had been started by a group of my friends and in this picture, I had recently decided it was high time that I become an official UTM Superfan.

So in order to do this, I had to paint up because that is precisely what superfans do, every sports game, we attempt to have Superfan members present in full paint. We even went so far to require Furby (one of the guys) to wear a pink wig. Oh and he did, in support of the true Superfan tradition.

If ya'll wanna know how crazy we southerners get in support of our sports teams at college, that's picture of it! I was eating lunch in the Reserve Officer Training Corps for the Army building just before the football game began. I didn't even know I was being photographed. Anyway, later that day, as a part of my initiation, I ran the American Flag onto the football field in front of the football team, wearing all that paint. I got some really funny looks until people realized I had to be a Superfan.

It became a great and really fun tradition for me at all of our home games Fall 2002. I ran the football team out with our nation's flag, painted up like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Now, for those of you who will meet me in person at one point, are you ever going to get that picture of me out of your head? I know I look funny, it's ok...

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This was from MSNBC "This week in pictures" and after I voted for it (btw this adorable cat is winning the race), I decided I should post this adorable picture here! Isn't this kitty just precious!!??!! :D

The Filipino truck driver who has been held hostage said thank you to his government for cooperating with the demands of the terrorist militants who threatened his life. Angelo dela Cruz was no longer in the tradition bright orange clothing worn by most of the individuals capture of late by these militants.

He excitedly announced to his family "Wait for me, I'm coming back to you." Although there is no official order yet from the Filipino government to withdraw the forces, preparations have been made.

I wonder if, when the government does pull her troops/humanitarian forces from Iraq, the terrorist militants will actually free him. They will have gotten what they wanted and it worries me that perhaps they won't keep their word. They are terrorists and I don't trust them farther than I can throw them.

I am still going to keep this man and his family in my prayers as until he is safe at home, there are no guarantees. I just really in a huge way wish that governments would not give into the rash demands of these terrorists who will only continue their reign of evil.

Shark before you read this, we are on the phone, this isn't to do with you and you know that. To everyone else, shark and I are fine, we both promise you that.

It's hard going through life sometimes because on one hand you want to please your family but on another hand, why can't your own happiness be more important? Lives are not getting ruined here rather lives are being made and completed.

I feel so bad because of everything and so does shark. We are both so eh and down/depressed right now. It seems that the only support we truly have is my family and tBlog. I want to tell you all thank you. And also if I don't have a lot of good things to say here, it's just because I have no inspiration to write when things are like this.

It doesn't affect our relationship or our love but the things that are going on are difficult enough that it's hard on us. So please, for those of you who do pray, please it would mean the world to me I know if you would remember us both in your prayers.

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."-- Joseph Addison

That quote is going to serve as a starter, per say an appetizer for today's post. We all want and deserve happiness right? Most of you and rightly so will say yes. So what does that involve-- happiness? Well, I think Mr. Addison put it beautifully in his quote. However, that isn't what I wanted blog about.

I have heard so much talk lately about the war in Iraq and perhaps really the war on terrorism in general. So, I am going to go back in time today and examine a very important part of the Declaration of Independence created and declared on July 4, 1776 and what that means for us today.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Read that…read it very carefully and think on it…ok…have you had enough time? That means that every person on the face of this planet, whether black, white, Asian, Hispanic or otherwise, whether Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or otherwise, deserves the right to live as he or she pleases to live. Each individual deserves the right to pursue whatever makes him or her happy in life. If I don’t like what that person is doing, so what? It doesn’t concern me because it is his or her life, not mine.

Each soldier, from all countries involved, fighting in Iraq is fighting to preserve those three unalienable rights. Now, NONE OF US are in President Bush’s head and NONE OF US truly know his reasons for sending us to war with Iraq. Maybe it was for oil, maybe it was for power, and maybe it was for humanitarian reasons. So whatever the reason was for him, we did go to war. And when it is all said and down, it all comes down to one issue: The preservation of human rights to live, be free, and pursue a path of happiness.

We ought to all stop screaming around about how we don’t like our leadership, or we think Bush went to war for the wrong reasons, or we should pull out of Iraq. That is selfish and it’s not the main issue here at all. YOU try being president, vice president, or any other position of leadership over this country and you see if you make a mistake once in awhile. NO ONE is perfect, not me, not you, not Bush or the administration. So, just sit back and realize that there are bigger issues at hand here- Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Ok so, as I have been telling my good friend ansell lately, I just don't have a clue as to what I [b]WAS[/b] going to blog about. I truly am horrible at concentration levels and remembering things of late. The more I try so hard to remember what it was I wanted to talk about, the less I truly remember.

And you know, I don't want to have a lapse in time of blogging well for lots of various reasons. And also, I don't normally ramble on blogging with no point at all because I hate reading blogs like that. Ok so if you want to ramble and at least you have a point, no problem, like ansell...he has a lot to say. So, anyway...I am going to post this, and if any of you are great at telepathy or reading previous brain activity, please enlighten me as to what I wanted to blog about!!

I remember the first time I saw her. We both were standing in the dorm lobby with our mothers. She came in after me, dressed in a white tank top and overalls with flip flops, in January no less. I was wearing a red t-shirt and jeans (no sense of fashion then lol). We were literally two of the first girls to sign into the dorms and move in. I had just returned from Basic Training and AIT and Tara had been to a community college for her first semester and wanted to transfer.

From that moment on, we were inseparable. I loved her dearly and our friendship was one I knew I would treasure always. My roommate, Laura, was also a dear. Although she was a former cheerleader and I was worried she would be a valley girl, we also grew to love each other very much. Her boyfriend was in Afghanistan and so I spent many hours soothing her fears and explaining things to her. We were at first the three musketeers and nothing could tear our friendship.

But then there came that moment as does in some friendships where Tara needed Laura more than she did me. :cry: I never let it bother me and although I felt like I was sort of outcast from the trio, I knew they both loved me and that they still needed time to play before they grew up and realized that partying, getting drunk, and getting stoned wasn't a good idea. Well, I moved out of the dorms and they got an apartment together. We still would hang out but not like before. I was of course devastated because we had always said, "Friends no matter where we are in life". But I moved on with life and so did they.

Still though, there were the occasional phone calls of "Hey girl, I love ya how are you?!" where they would check up on me. And then came my own fateful phone call of my impending trip to the great country of Iraq. :cry: I called them both and told them the news. Tara got in her parent's Escalade and drove the hour to my house and sat in my living room in tears. "You can't go!" Laura and I shared the same moment later and although we hadn't been as close of late, I knew they loved me and that they would pray for me.

Now that it is a year and a half later, I thought of them both often and despite my efforts, could not find either one of them, no phone number listings in their hometowns or near the college. None of our mutual friends from college had seen them and they never signed in on MSN. So I just happened to sign in on MSN and check my block list and Laura was on it. I about died, unblocked her, and then waited. Not 2 weeks later she signed on and spilled all of the updates I had waited so long to hear. Tara had just gotten married the day before and I nearly cried because I should have been there and we could not find each other.

Yesterday then, I discovered that Tara had just moved in practically right across the street from me no less and was back from her honeymoon. Let me tell you what!!! I hopped in my car so fast, drove like a bat out of hell, and found myself talking to her husband on the front porch and then talking to her on the phone about my whereabouts whereupon she nearly had a heartattack and commanded me to stay my butt put! We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, catching up, and then she sat me down and apologized for the way she acted our freshman year. "I didn't treat you as a friend should have and I missed a lot of your life because of it." We remembered our promise of "Friends no matter where we are in life" and vowed never to lose touch again.

I just wanted to share that and maybe if you have old friends that you haven't spoken to in awhile, maybe you should...you never know what happens.

Two brothers, both vastly different yet they carry the name Bin Laden and therefore, Yeslam carries the incorrect stigma of terrorism. His last name is the very portrayal of terrorism for most of the world, namely Americans. Recently, Dateline's Matt Lauer interviewed Yeslam Bin Laden to get a feel of what it's like to be related to Osama Bin Laden.

For the first time, Yeslam felt it necessary to talk about his side of the story. He is one of 54 children. His father had 2 dozen wives and siblings were more like cousins since the various wives had their own houses where they lived with their children. Osama and Yeslam rarely saw one another living in different countries. Yeslam's mother raised him in a more westernized home while Osama was raised in a very different and much more religious home than that of his other siblings.

The Bin Laden family is wealthier beyond imagination because the father worked all his life to develop Saudi Arabia, becoming a multi-billionairre and developing a very close relationship with the Saud royal family.

Osama quickly became virtually at war with his own family because after Saudi Arabia allowed US troops into the kingdom, he hated the US for defying the Islam soil and even more resented the Saud government for allowing it to happen. He believes his family is too westernized and that they defy the true Islamic faith which should and does defy the US (according to Osama).

According to Yeslam, no one in the family has spoken to Yeslam in 20 years and nor do they want to. At that point of contact, the family tried to convince him not to attack the Saudi government, to return to Saudi Arabia and lead a peaceful life but no such luck. This was the breaking point where the entire Bin Laden family turned their backs on Osama, denying him and not wanting anything to do with him and his terrorism.

Yeslam very definitively denies any involvement with Osama and Al Queda and additionally is very firm in his beliefs that no one in his family would ever send him money to fuel his terrorist actions. Yeslam's entire household and business operations have been thoroughly investigated by the Swiss and French governments and through everything, nothing at all reprehensible was found. His estates were found to be completely honest and respectable with no ties at all to his brother Osama.

Although his brother's criminal actions have him marked for life, he will not change his name because despite his brother's evil ways, the bonds of family and brotherhood are never broken. But still he reiterates that Osama is practically disowned from the family.

I thought to post about this because I sincerely feel very sorry for this whole family whose lives are turned upside down because of one person who refuses to listen to reason, who murders thousands of innocent people without a thought, and who is perhaps one of the most demented people in the world, responsible for the majority of terrorist acts.

As a pianist myself, I do love to listen to the soothing, calming music such as classical or my recent love, fairy music or nature music. Gary Stadler released a CD called [i]Fairy of the Woods[/i] in 1998. I just recently ran across it via one of my sorority sisters (love ya Meg!) and it is simply fabulous. I highly recommend it!

The music on this CD brings you that calming state where you might just believe in magic, where miracles can happen. The piano is the main instrument and it brings the music to a dreamy state that encircles the listener. The entire CD is heartfelt and sensational. I listen to it when I need that hour of relaxation.

Ok so I have been feeling eh this week and most of you know that. Well so today I was doing my volunteer work at the Red Cross and my director and I were listening to my fairy music and some Enya songs. We were just chatting about various things and something truly made me laugh so hard I cried.

To make matters worse, she tells me the funniest story. Apparently she had Weather Bug downloaded on her computer at home but didn't know about the sound effects of the program. Well, there was a change in weather or something to that effect and suddenly she heard a cricket chirping. The thing was that she didn't know that's the sound the program played to notify you of a change in the weather or something.

So Ms. Cindy, a hater of all bugs in her house, ransacked her house, literally searching for the infamous "cricket" that she still heard chirping. She never realized the noise was coming from her computer speakers so she continued to literally tear the house apart, cleaning it, searching for this damn cricket. I was laughing so hard by the time she told me the whole story, I nearly fell out of my chair. I just imagined her running about her house yelling for the damn cricket and the whole time it was just the sound effects of her weather program.

So after a week of feeling eh, she managed to get me in better spirits at work today. I left with a red face from laughing so much that I had cried practically. My sides ached and my tummy hurt. Lol so I thought the whole thing was totally hilarious and am still laughing about it and thought to share it with all of you.

Just 18 days after he went missing, United States marine CPL Hassounis back in US custody in Germany. He arrived in Beirut and in short order made his way to the US Embassy and was later flown from there to Germany in order to receive proper medical and psychological examinations.

There is much speculation concerning his kidnapping or as some say, desertion. The case was still under investigation when he turned up in Lebanon. This investigation is no longer priority, says US officials, but his examinations will be conducted in short order. He is being treated as any other Marine would and should be treated. He is scheduled to undergo serious debriefing and evaluation.

I am just glad he is safe and alive. We will await the outcome I guess of his situation.

Shark99 just posted recently about what he wants from life and asked us what we wanted. I guess since I still have a muse who is quite on strike and I can't come up with decent blog topics on my own, I will respond to his question here. :lol:

I want to finish my degree in Secondary Education History and move on to teach in a high school. Simultaneously, I want to continue my education and pursue my masters and later my doctorate in history. I want to keep playing and teaching piano because I love that with all my heart. I want to be the best teacher I can by hopefully inspiring and empowering my students.

However, I still want my family. I don't care who reads this, whether you are John's friends or family, but I love John very much and I guess I am going to have to seriously prove to all of you that I really am for real and that I am not immature and that I will love and support him. That's another thing I want out of life. John didn't say on his blog he wanted to marry me but newsflash he does. I want to marry John and live a happy life. I want my two car garage and the white picket fence complete with my garden. I want to raise our children happily and with love.

I want the world to always know that no matter what happens and who thinks what about it, I am going to marry him. There I said it. I am so happy to be 21 (in July) and know exactly what I want out of life. I hope people don't take me the wrong way here but you know, I am not worried about what you think if you read this. So you know we met on tBlog...who cares, neither of us do so neither should you. We are happy and you should be happy for us. I hope you one day will love me since well he is going to love me forever and I him. I hope that one day you will be ok with our relationship. That is my prayer for tonight.

So everyone, that's what I want out of life! Take care, sleep well, as I am sleeping now, although because of time differences, maybe you aren't sleeping now!

This is perhaps the funniest story from Basic Training.

The whistle blew and a demanding voice yelled across the PA system for every private to get their lazy, no-good butt in formation, full battle rattle, in 30 seconds. Of course that’s nigh to impossible, I thought as I threw on my gear. Yay we get to do extensive physical training!

As we ran out to the cement area in front of the barracks, a loud, proud, and stupid voice rang out among the noise of hurried privates running while throwing on their gear.

“I’M THE MAN! I’M THE MAN! I’M THE MAN!” Private Carter, I do believe, was the most egotistical person I had ever met. He felt he was God’s gift to women and the army. Well, our dear Drill Sergeant did not feel that way.

After we were called to attention and roll was taken, Drill Sergeant requested Carter’s presence. “Private Carter, FRONT AND CENTER!” It was hard not to laugh because this was indeed, all his fault.

“Here, Drill Sergeant!”

“Private Carter, place your weapon above your head. Now, listen very carefully. You are going to run around this formation while we march to training. And I want to hear “I’M THE MAN!” above our cadences. You better let this whole base know you’re the man! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, PRIVATE!?!”

“Yes, Drill Sergeant!”

So, we had to march five miles that day to our training site. And the whole way, we listened to Carter yelling, “I’M THE MAN!”. About 2 or 3 miles into the march, my tongue was really hurting. I had been biting it the whole way, attempting with all I had NOT to laugh. But it slipped, and I laughed. Now, this was Drill Sergeant Moore marching us…and NO one laughs at any Drill Sergeant’s punishment tactics but certainly not his.

That was the quickest “Mark time March” and “Halt” I do believe I have ever experienced. I just went around to where DS was because I know I may as well. As I made my way, “PRIVATE WELLS, I KNOW THAT WAS YOU!!! YOU BETTER BE OVER HERE BY YESTERDAY!!”

So, I got doled out my punishment. Not there though, I was simply informed to report to him immediately upon arrival at the training site, with all of my gear. I got smoked for hours because of that one. And that was really the only time I personally got in trouble. The whole “out of sight, out of mind” thing really comes into play in basic training. The funniest thing was Carter was still running around yelling “I’M THE MAN!” when I was getting smoked and I was still laughing, of course I tried not to and poor DS was doing all he could not to laugh.

While talking to a friend of mine, ansell, I remembered things that I used to do frequently but don't have the time to do now.

I love horseback riding. I love nature and riding a horse through the woods or in the trails near here is just so relaxing. I love to run the horse at a full gallop and just feel the breeze blowing in my face...it's so carefree! I used to ride all of the time but here lately I just don't have a lot of time to.

I love swinging...for much the same reason as horseback riding. My mama has a swing on the tree in back of her and daddy's house. I love to swing and just lay back and feel the wind. I don't do it often enough.

My piano as many of you know is as much my soul as living and breathing is to most of you. Piano is my deepest passion other than living to love my dearest Shark (btw visit his blog as he feels unloved that I am higher than him in hotblogs lol!). I have played the piano for 17 years now. Here lately I am just caught up with other things than playing the piano and that's not a good thing as it calms and relaxes me.

So I wonder what things you used to that you don't do b/c of various reasons...enlighten me?!!

Thanks a million to siddharth for giving me this idea. *Hugs* also to him because he's having a down day. I know how ya feel hon. It's ok and things will look up I promise. Just try and think of all the things that you are happy for.

Ok so, sidd wanted me to talk about how I ended up in Iraq in the first place. I guess to explain that is to start at the beginning. My sister at age 17 joined my National Guard unit in Dresden to pretty much I think get away from her abusive boyfriend who I would almost rather disappear off the face of the earth than me see him again. I thought she was nuts for joining the army because the Drill Sergeants yelled all of the time.

Well, I visited her on drill weekends and got to know most of the guard unit. Everybody was like hey lets have sisters in the unit. I was like um NO I don't want a damn thing to do with the army. Then everyone started saying that I wouldn't even make it through basic if I did go so there was no point. Don't say something like that to me because I will do it and accept your rude challenge. lol...

So when I was 17 1/2 in the middle of my senior year in high school, I took the oath to be a soldier and defend my constitution and my country, no matter the order given, I was to follow. I was happy and proud and I had lots of chills the moment I took that oath. July of 2001 I ran off to Basic Training in the great post of Fort Leonardwood, Missouri, which all of us army folk know better as Fort Lost-in-the-woods...because that's literally what it is.

I ended up loving every minute and challenge of Basic. Yes it was hard as hell but it was just that...a challenge and that's what I live for, if you know me, you can atest to my horrid way of going looking for a challenge and that does sometimes bite me in the butt so to speak.

I did AIT at Fort Lee and soon in early December found myself once again home. I, btw, slept for literally 3 days straight once I got home. I woke up, still on the couch, and mama was like...wow she rose from the dead. I was hungry as you can all imagine but happy to be home but still at the same time, missed it all.

So, that next summer, we found ourselves at NTC (National Training Center) in California (the desert part no less). We all knew that meant we would find ourselves landed in another desert soon. We were right. We did the training there in the end of May. Eight months later, January 28, 2003, we found ourselves activated for Iraq.

So that hopefully explains how I ended up in Iraq to begin with. take care all of you!

I am not feeling so well today (physically fine) for reasons I refuse to disclose to the internet. There are a lot of things that now must be kept off tBlog for reasons which again I cannot disclose to everyone.

So, bearing in mind that I am ehh today, does anyone have any really good topics for me to write about? I need a muse in other words lol!!!

K...off to class and I hope that when I return, I will be in better spirits.

I am disturbed at some things that happened last night while I wasn't really here on tBlog. I don't appreciate them either. To respect others, I reserve the right not to mention names of what happened on tBlurt. But listen ya'll, we are all behind our computers here and we don't know each other.

Judgement of others is unfair and unjust. If you come on tBlurt, try to realize that you are coming in on the chat in the middle of the conversation and you don't know what is truly going on. So don't be cruel to other people whom you don't know. It's not mature at all and it shows a little too much of your personality that should not show.

I am sorry that it happened because some people's feelings are hurt and it shouldn't be that way here. We should all be respectful of other people. Try taking the Myers Briggs personality test. Maybe ya'll should try doing that and maybe it will help you better understand other people. I dunno, I am just a bit mad that things got out of hand last night and people were hurt. Take care all of you!

A friend of mine stopped by my house for a visit this afternoon. Joe went to Iraq with me and he's always said I was the horrid little sis he never wanted lol but we are close.

Joe asked me about my PTSD and how bad things were. I enlightened him on my overall demeanor since the war. I told him about my concentration level being shot and my conversation ability. When I say conversation ability, I mean that sometimes when I am talking to someone, I will literally completely forget what I was talking about or what I was fixin to say. Now some people do that and it comes back but I am serious about this, it doesn't come back until sometimes hours or days later. I thought it was weird because I never did that before the war. I told him all that and that Fort Campbell blamed that on my PTSD and assured me it would "go away". RIGHT...

So here's the horrid part that I wanted to tell you all. Joe has been working active duty at our National Guard unit helping the unit get back to order since the war. The Department of Defense has just sent some stupid information packet to them concerning anthrax vaccines. Apparently, the DOD has recently found that a permanent side effect of this anthrax vaccine is short term memory loss. It happens mostly to soldiers who did not receive their follow up anthrax shots when they were supposed to. This vaccine is given repeatedly over a 2 year span (I think it's 2 years) spaced out in other words. I am so mad! Truly mad! I am going to have this problem forever?! What?!

So anyway, just wanted people to know that. I am going to call my VA rep immediately because I want more information on this. I just feel that it's bad how they find these things out about the vaccines we get and we are still getting them.

I found this one interesting because I am spiritual. My faith isn't just a religion- it's my spirituality.


Insular Majuscule- You are spiritual and well
rounded. People look to you for advice, but
sometimes find you difficult to understand.


What Calligraphy Hand Are You?
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So I am all flippin through the pages of news on MSNBC when I see this article on Why Wives Stray. Ok...thought I would take a gander and I read the whole thing before starting to comment here. Wow...I was in for a shocker when I read that one.

There are stories of this one wife in particular whose husband was an airline pilot. She fell in love with a businessman she met at a nightclub who gave her everything her husband didn't - Tiffany jewelry, love notes, and flowers. The flowers gave her affair away when her lover had them delivered to her house and her husband answered the door. Well, damn...isn't that just a shame.

Now, she is married to someone different, not her lover from the previous affair, and still talks about starting a website for married women who want extramarrital sex. That's just horrible I think. I mean damn.

Varying research studies and therapists have estimated that between 30 and 40% of married women have extramarrital sexual relationships. Percentages for men having sex with someone other than their wife is about 50% but stays mostly the same across the board and over the years. The percentage for women keeps rising. What does that say?

Studies show that the cheating woman finds her partner in the work field. Approximately 60% of women are now in the workforce rather than being the at-home-mom.

I am just appalled at the rate of unfaithfulness from both men and women in marriages today. I cannot find a good enough reason for it. I hear some women say "He did so I can too." Yeah ok so two wrongs make a right? What kind of twisted logic is that?

Did you know that in 1643, Mary Latham was hanged in Massachusetts with her lover James Britton? The law was strict then and this 18 year old girl was no different. Infidelity was unheard of then. But why do you think? Values...good, old-fashioned but worthwhile American family values. Where did they go?

Ok, so your husband has a job that keeps him away from you sometimes. Didn't you freakin know that when you married him? I mean, hello!

If you want more romantic things from your husband, try doing them for him. I try hard to do little things for John mostly because I love him and I know he needs to be shown that but also because if I want to be treated romantically in such ways, I must do the same in return. I just don't understand it. I love John with all my heart and I don't want anyone else ever.

The gist is if you are going to get married, think about it seriously and try to be sure that this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Yes there is that off chance something might happen but geez don't make it happen by going looking for trouble.

So this weekend with John here in Martin has been filled with visits to friends of mine and "dinner parties" of sorts. Today we planned to go to my family reunion of sorts. But, you have to understand a true southern family reunion.

This, for us, consists of people I only see once every year or couple of years. We don't coorespond much and hardly recognize each other when we all arrive at the set event. It is very informal and we all just get together and catch up on reintroducing ourselves and determining who of the patriarchs in the family we each belong to which in turn helps us get an idea who is who.

Food generally consists of good, homestyle southern cookin'. We had an array of meat dishes including BBQ Ribs, pulled chicken and rotisarry chicken. Then there was the brocolli-rice casserole, various pasta salads, watermelon and cantelope that was certainly from someone's garden, rolls, cornbread, good ole' southern sweet tea that you can't find in the north for some reason, and finally the deserts which included banana bread, strawberry cream cheese pizza, chocolate cake, pecan pie, and key lime pie squares.

Other than the usual uncomfortable feeling of really knowing no one quite well, the whole thing went well and who can ever pass up a meal like that?!

So, please take a moment to remember our troops still all across the world in defense of freedom and this country. Happy 4th of July to all of you and I am happy to be an American!!!

Prior to going to bed for the night, we wanted to let you know that Shark99 got to my house safely. We had dinner and then went over wedding plans together. Things are truly doing well and are officially underway. For those of you who are going to be at our wedding, most of you know who you are, make sure you send me a private message with your name and address. Thanks and we both love you all!!

I was lost as to what to post about for the day but adpierin11 gave me a great idea. She talked today about household chores, cooking cleaning, etc. and if it should be just the wife or 50/50. Ok so I will run with that

Relationships are complicated and require equal contribution and communication from both people involved. There has to be a mutual understanding between each other of the goals and future of the relationship. The relationship has to be surrounded by love that proceeds all others. You have to have a definitive level of respect for the other's feelings and opinions. Additionally you have to trust each other. The truest test of love is trust.

People often focus on the physical aspect of the relationship instead of the other reasons why you love him/her. For men, she is beautiful because you love her. You don't love her only because she is beautiful. You love her for her mind, her heart, her personality, her beliefs and values. For women, he is absolutely fine because you love him and his wonderful personality lights up his face when he smiles. His ability to carry on a decent conversation without keeping his mind on one thing only simply deepens your love for him.

So, when you ask, "Am I going to have to do all of the laundry and dishes? or "Is she going to make me do all of the yardwork?", stop and realize that if you truly love each other, all else will come. Remember that the love comes from both of you and that with both of you working toward a common goal for your relationship, things will be ok!!
Quote for this topic:
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao-Tzu

"I haven't talked to You in a long time. I know, I am sorry. I'm not ignoring You and I promise You really do take precedence in my life."

Sigh..."It just that it's still hard and I'm not perfect. But then, you know that right? I wish I could hear You answer me back but hey, my angel's next to me right?"

"Hey, angel, thanks for being here. Will you be here when I wake up? I think you will be so thank you in advance."

"Mostly what I wanted to talk to you about tonight was that I am trying to be the child I know You want me to be. I know that each day is a daily walk with You. If I would pray more, things would probably come easier. Sometimes I just forget, I don't mean to, I promise."

"I did want to tell You thank you also. I don't deserve the things and people You have placed in my life but I am undyingly thankful that you thought of me. John is more than I ever thought I would have."

"Ok so I think that's all for tonight. Please be with me tomorrow. Kim and I are going to Jackson to look at locations for the wedding. I mean you already knew that but I can tell You again, right? I love You, and thank you for the sacrifices you made to make me possible."

How many of you heard about the Gene case in the 1970's? For those of us who are a bit younger, we may not personally remember it but there has been a movie made concerning this case on Lifetime. Gene was the case involving a 13 year old girl who for 10 years had been extremely socially isolated from the world.

At birth, her father felt that she was mentally retarded and therefore should be shunned from society. She was abused repeatedly and kept locked on a potty chair for her entire life until discovered. Her mother, slowly becoming blind, did nothing to alert the authorities and would later claim she too was a victim. Shortly after the discovery of the child, the father shot himself in the head.

The child was placed in a hospital in California near where she had lived. A "Gene team" was constructed to evaluate her and decipher whether or not she would be able to learn basic human skills such as speech. I will not go into lengthy details her but you get the general idea. The child, although she learned basic words, never learned to speak as we do. This goes to show the critical period for children is a valid theory that states there is a certain time in a child's life where him or her can learn speech and a first language. If that time passes with no such learning, all hope of successfully learning a normal pattern of speech and language is lost.

I cannot imagine why someone would treat their child this way. Why would you do that? Even if she was mentally retarded at birth (there are conflicting theories), there is no call for isolating and physically and emotionally abusing the child. She was loved by all who came into contact with her once she was discovered. Who knows what kind of person she could have been if her father had not done this to her.

Today she lives in an adult foster care home where still she is a child trapped in an adult body without the capability of speech and normal language patterns to effectively communicate with the world around her. It saddens me deeply to think about this. I saw the movie on Lifetime possibly two years ago and now we were required to view a documentary for my Special Education class. It is just the saddest story I do believe I have ever heard.