Shades of Scarlett Deep in Thought

John and I just watched the A&E film Flight 93. I was in basic training for the Army when 9-11-01 happened so I have seen very little visual footage of the events. I cringed...tears came. The 106 minute movie was touching. It did justice, I think, to the flight crew, passengers, and families of that flight. At no other time in our short life as a nation have we felt such shock, horror, and utter disbelief. 9-11 changed the way we look at life and well it should. Iraq changed my life as well it did many soldiers. Most of us are not the same...we never will be again. But regardless of our experiences, it cannot compare to that of the families of the passengers and crew of all four planes and to all of those killed or wounded in the twin towers and the Pentagon. May we never forget...may we always remember...

And so it is with most college students...the last undergraduate advisory meeting. The meeting went well, better than I hoped. Strangely enough for me, my advisor sang my praises and encouraged me to enter the undergraduate research symposium. I've been researching the Citizens' Council in Mississippi that spearheaded the resistance to the Civil Rights movement. My focus in my graduate and post-graduate career is Afro-American History Jim Crow through the Civil Rights era. Obviously I feel that the members of the Citizens' Council were racist bastards who deserve to be shot but...and I stress the but...as a historian, I have to objectively research the subject(s) and event(s) and analyze them within their historical moment. So, I will be entering the research symposium. Ahhh...I'm nervous! After that topic, my advisor and I discussed Masters/Ph.D. schools. He and I settled on Columbia, Cornell, Princeton, and Yale based on their combined programs that allow you to enter into the Masters program, finish it, and simply move on to the Ph.D. program without having to reapply, that is of course if I don't majorly screw up. I've still maintained my 4.0 GPA and my writing has significantly improved. I'm increasingly thankful that I transferred here when John and I got married. I would not have had these opportunities at my university in Tennessee. As a precursor to my graduate career, my advisor and I set a goal to publish my first historical article in a scholarly journal/magazine. We decided on Spring 2007, one year from now. I will work to publish a couple of articles and teach at a local high school for a couple of years or so to save money and continue research. At that point and once I score high enough on my GRE, my advisor and my mentor will both help me apply to the above named universities. They are four of the Ivy League schools and the ones that will help me make a name as a historian. It's scary but amazing...all-in-one. I just can't believe that my advisor and mentor think I can do this. I can but it will be no easy feat...but a possible one. My mom and my sister are excited and told me over and over that I had the brains and the drive for something like this. My husband is hoping for Columbia...he likes New York City. Wish me luck over the next couple of years. It will be interesting to see if I can actually do this!

Never have I heard a more powerful song. It is amazing. It is about abortion and how horrible of mistake it was for the couple in the song. I cried...sad... I just wonder the same things...what would your child have grown up to be if he/she lived past the womb? Here are the lyrics. Please listen to it, no matter your thoughts on abortion. And btw...I miss ya'll at tBlog! Happy Birthday...so make a wish Verse 1: Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin? Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys. Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes? I payed for the murder before they determined the sex Choosing our life over your life meant your death And you never got a chance to even open your eyes Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you faught for your life? Would you have been a little genius in love with math? Would you have played in your schoolclothes and made me mad? Would you have been a little rapper like your papa da Piper? Would you have made me quit smokin' by finding one of my lighters? I wonder about your skintone and shape of your nose? And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow? Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been Happy birthday... Chorus: All I thought was a dream (make a wish) Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday) All I thought was a dream (make a wish) Was as real as it seemed I made a mistake! Verse 2: I've got a millon excuses to why you died Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide Who's to say it woulda worked, and who's to say it wouldn't have? I was young and strugglin' but old enough to be your dad The fear of being a father has never disappeared Pondering frequently while I'm zippin' on my beer My vision of a family was artificial and fake So when it came time to create I made a mistake Now you've got a little brother maybe he's really you? Maybe you really forgave us knowin' we was confused? Maybe everytime that he smiles it's you proudly knowin' that your father's doin' the right thing now? I never tell a woman what to do with her body But if she don't love children then we can't party Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been Happy birthday... Chorus: All I thought was a dream (make a wish) Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday) All I thought was a dream (yeah, make a wish) Was as real as it seemed I made a mistake! And from the heavens to the womb to the heavens again From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin Maybe one day we could meet face to face? In a place without time and space Happy birthday... From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin Maybe one day we could meet face to face? In a place without time and space Happy birthday... Chorus: All I thought was a dream (make a wish) Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday) All I thought was a dream (make a wish) Was as real as it seemed I made a mistake...!