I have moved to another blog
I will no longer blog on this website. I love my other blog and have decided to stay there. tBlog served a great purpose while it lasted for me. After all, I did meet John here. I love you baby! But, Shark99 and I both blog on blogger/blogspot now so that is where I shall devote my time.
I hope some of my old tBlog friends from 2004 find me on blogspot. I miss the friendship and the support. You were all incredible during the months following my redeployment from a hell-hole of a desert called Iraq. In hindsight, I doubt my ability to cope had I not had such an encouraging network of individuals who genuinely cared.
I also hope new friends find me. I met a wonderful Irish gentleman on a Continental flight to Newark from Chicago. His kindness and intelligence awed me. His family is blessed to have him. Whether I ever talk to him again, he, his wife, and beautiful children are in my thoughts and I wish them all the best in my heart.
Laboratory of Learning: my blog
Sharkatude: Wisdom of the Common Sense (John's Blog)
Joli's Home Art: My sister's blog
Joli's Diaper Art (A cloth diapering business owned by my sister and I)
Family
I was able to print off about 25 pictures from right before I went to Iraq, family pictures at Thanksgiving the first year John and I dated, pictures of my dad in the hospital with Amanda, Grayson, and I over last Christmas, and various other family pics. I bought a Ferris Wheel picture frame from Hobby Lobby (just the cutest thing you ever did see!!) and put 12 pictures in it. Then I got a collage picture frame with 6 pictures. They are all sitting in my hotel room. It's wonderful to be surrounded by family. Looking at the pictures and remembering the moments when they were taken reminds me so much of the importance of family.
Especially with dad being so sick, I cherish my family so deeply. I'm going to miss him so much when he goes but I know he will no longer be in pain. The pictures, however, will always help me remember. I found some pictures at mom's of before dad got sick 4 1/2 years ago. I had nearly forgotten how he looked before he lost so much weight. Most of you know that I'm currently working on my writing sample for PhD programs- that's why I am doing research in Arkansas right now. At any rate, it will eventually be my PhD dissertation and then I'd like to publish it. So I have decided that I will dedicate it to my dad...seems fitting...
Where I'm at now...and an update on dad
So here's the current deal with dad. We got blood results yesterday. He's passing blood and proteins in amounts that are not so good. He's also having excessive back pains. Mom says that there are a couple of explanations for that. A) he has developed prostate cancer which accounts for blood and proteins and it has now spread to his bones which accounts for his back pain. She's concerned, deeply so, that that is what has happened. B) well mom says it could all just be side effects of his current list of problems but she doesn't think it adds up to that. If in fact his cancer has or does in the future spread to his bones, it will not be pretty. That is not a good way to go. So nothing certain but I'm concerned, obviously.
Other than that, I am in Arkansas for a research trip- Fayetteville to be exact. It is beautiful here- in the Ozark Mountains. My trip took 3 hours longer than it was supposed to because of excessive traffic, construction, and then several accidents due to a torrential downpour of rain. However, since I arrived much later than expected (9 p.m. instead of 6 p.m.), I was able to see the sun set over the mountains in the west as I drove in. That was spectacularly beautiful. The sky was accented with hues of purples and pinks across the tops of the mountains and the forest. If I'd had time and wasn't on a busy interstate, I would have stopped to take pictures. It was just breathtaking...
So I'll be here until Wednesday when I make the 7 hour trip home. Let's hope it stays that length. I drove here from my mom's in TN as I was A) spending time with her and dad as well as B) taking my exams for the Royal Music School of London this weekend. Per my exams, they changed the test site on me but it ended up being 30 minutes from my mom's house instead of nearly 2 hours. I got everything on the test right! But the instructor said the official test scores won't come in for 2 more months and that even though I got everything right, they'll never let me score perfect- no one does. But I know I kicked butt on it!! So it's all good.
Not Ready to Make Nice
I will probably catch some hell from other tBlog users for this post but I've never backed down from my beliefs and opinions.
Most of you know I am a veteran and that I served time in Iraq during 2003. So whether or not you believe in the war and reasons for it is irrelevant and whether or not I believe in it is also irrelevant. I was a soldier, following orders, and fighting for freedom. This country was supposed to be built on freedom and because of that, we have certain rights. One of those is freedom of speech. If I want to say I can't stand my mother in law (she really is not very nice to me or my husband), then I have the right to declare to the country that I don't like her. Moreover, if someone in this country wants to stand up and say that they don't like the president, they are allowed to do just that.
Three years after receiving death threats for their lead singer's comments about the president, the Dixie Chicks are still catching hell for the whole thing- even though only 30% of the country actually agrees with the president on the war. I defended this country's freedoms and its citizens' right to speak their mind. Personally, it irritates me that these people are still screaming at the Chicks. They have the right to be mad but they don't think the Chicks had the right to be mad 3 years ago? How hypocritical is that? These people have the right to threaten the Dixie Chicks with death and to make calls to the radio station and make threats if the song is played but the Dixie Chicks can't say "I'm embarrassed the president is from my home state?"
They made no threats on the president or any soldier or any member of the government. And I bet they support the troops. Most people do even if they don't agree with the war because soldiers have no choice in going to war. Before 9-11 most of us joined to pay for school and others did sign up because fighting in a war was something they wanted to do if the need arised. Both sets of soldiers are equally honorable. Soldiers should be supported no matter if you agree with the war and I am sure the Chicks feel that way. They are not unreasonable people. They are just outspoken and for being true to who they are, they are being attacked. It is not fair and the whole situation is not indicative of the "freedom of speech," a freedom on which this country is supposed to stand.
I don't agree that people should be allowed to run around saying "I'm going to kill you." That is dangerous; but that is NOT what the Dixie Chicks did.
Back from Wisconsin
I'm back from my trip. I went to Columbus, Wisconsin and saw my family on my spermdonor's side for the first time in ten years. My cousin Katie was graduating high school and since they had nothing to do with my biological father's verbal and physical abuse. I wrote this Monday night on my laptop as I looked forward to the week ahead.
"The weekend has been interesting to say the very least. It has been ten years since we left my biological father and so it has also been that long since I’ve seen my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents who are nothing like said person in question. And it wasn’t their fault. They didn’t know what was happening when we were little and what could they have done? They have basically disowned him and so we are feeling more comfortable trying to form a relationship with them.Most of all it has been heartbreaking but still wonderful to see one specific cousin with whom I played as a child. We were very close, best friends actually, and I’ve missed her terribly. But she’s is recovering after getting into the alcohol and drugs thing and even worse, anorexia. Elizabeth will have a long road back but after she nearly cried when she realized I was there, I think I will be in her life always and will do what I can to help her recover. She’s been sober a year and since she is only 18 months younger than me, I still relate to her somewhat and I hope I can help.
So, tonight I head to Madison which is about an hour from here and I’ll start my research tomorrow morning. I am, of course, excited although I may not be as thrilled by the end of the week. I know, as a young scholar, that I am easily excited but bear with me…I’ll lose that I’m sure as I grow older."
I did my research at the Wisconsin Historical Society and printed around 3000 pages of documents for my research. It proved more than useful. It was a successful first trip- quite exciting actually.